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Dementia Action Alliance

The Truro Dementia Action Alliance is called ‘Dementia Friendly Truro’ & was formed in 2013.

Building links with local businesses, church networks & other organisations to raise awareness of dementia.

Do you have a business in Truro that would like to become Dementia Friendly?  Go to http://www.dementiaaction.org.uk

There are over 800,000 people living with dementia in the UK.

There are 9,000 people in Cornwall living with dementia.

5,000 people in Truro are affected by dementia daily, including friends, family, neighbours & customers.

Kobie the Cat

We were in Pets at Home about 6-8 weeks after getting Kobie, mum’s cat who she kept calling a dog.  She was looking at a cute owl toy & said “Oh it’s so cute, how can we not get it?” I said Kobie had a couple of toys already etc.  Anyhow, she clearly loved it & so I said “Put it in the trolley then” & she said “I can’t think of anyone who has a cat that we can buy it for though!”

Mum’s cat Kobie came in from the rain, jumped on the sofa next to her & she started to stroke him.
She said “He’s wet on this bit but not on that bit!”
So I said “Stroke him on that bit then!”
She said “Who’s a rabbit?”

Mum told our cat Kobie “Smelling my boobs won’t get you anywhere darling!”

Mum said “Look, look, black cat in the garden!”
Me “Yep, that’s your cat Kobie!”

After a morning of feeding her cat Kobie, brushing him & helping me to administer his ear drops mum stated “There’s a black cat sat in our hallway!”

Yesterday when Kobie, mum’s cat, was hassling me for food I said to him “There’s food in your bowl!”  Mum heard me say “There’s poo in your car!”

Mum just said she’s going to feed the dog.  I asked does she mean the cat?  Her response was “I’m just terrified that 1 day I’ll ask someone to come & meet my son (cat)!”

So many times a day I hear “Who’s Kobie?”  Mum’s cat x

Mum told me her boy cat Kobie is “Cleaning his vagina!”

 

I apologise for the language but the funniest part is that it’s a word Dee has always dispised & never before used!

Mum is obsessed with reading signs & number plates.  With number plates she likes to make words out of the letters.
Best numberplate naming was OBC.  Normally this would be changed around to maybe say COB but instead as we walked past she simply said “Order of the British C***s!”  This was the first time I had ever heard this word pass my mother’s lips.

Lady in cafe said to Mum “I’ve got a Cappuccino & an Earl Grey, which one are you?”  Mum said “I’m the D**K Head!”  Needless to say the lady didn’t flinch!

I heard Mum saying this to herself one day:  “Why are you acting like a dickhead?  I don’t know, maybe you have a dick in your head!”

 

Brie Wedges, Big Waitresses & Beer

Out to lunch & mum asked what I was having, I said “I’m having Brie Wedges” mum said “You’re having a big waitress?”
Travelling to a friends for a cup of tea.  We’re driving along & mum says “Oh no, I forgot to check my bag for beer cubes?”  I told her she’d have to give me a bit more than that as I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Teabags, I mean teabags, where the fuck did beer cubes come from, I don’t even like beer?”  She said.
Mum likes her Earl grey flavoured Green Tea & so we carry tea bags in her bag wherever she goes.

Furniture That Drives….

Turning left at the top of Lemon Street to go down the dual carriageway with lots of traffic coming up the other side.  mum said “Look at all that furniture coming up the hill!”

Mum said “Cars behave differently on different road surfaces!  Some cars are very neurotic!”

Stuck in a traffic jam mum said “I can’t believe the length of that queue of furniture”

 

Dementia Friends

One common type of dementia is Alzheimer’s Disease.

Dementia is progressive, which means the symptoms will gradually get worse.

Alzheimer’s Disease usually starts by affecting people’s short term memory.

Dementia is not just about losing your memory.

Dementia can also affect people’s perception.

Dementia is not a natural part of ageing.

People with dementia can still communicate effectively.

Dementia is caused by diseases of the brain.

One in fourteen people over 65 has dementia at any one time.

It is possible to live well with dementia.

There’s more to the person than the dementia.

Dementia Friends is about turning understanding into action.

 

Progression

After some months of lots of different health, financial & dementia issues I realised mum and I were quite depressed & not really coping very well.  Thanks to some amazing courses I sat by a company called Promas-  www.promas.co.uk (who I’m now a non-exec director for-that’s how amazing I think they are), an incredible book my friend’s mum bought me called “Knickers In the Fridge” by Jane Grierson & the fact that dementia has not stolen my mother’s sense of humour yet, we began to learn to laugh at the verbal mistakes she makes.  This was truly life changing!  Having the permission to take the piss & have a good giggle at things (and even Facebook them) that used to make us sad & frustrated was so enlightening.  These will mostly be shared under the category “Deeisms”.
Mum thanks me daily for making her laugh instead of letting us continue to be sad at what she’s lost.  However, this wouldn’t be possible without her incredible sense of humour & ability to laugh at herself.
She also thanks me daily for my patience, something that makes me so happy as I know that often my patience is non existent but as long as she’s not aware of that then……cool!
One of Dee’s catchphrases is “Laughter is the best medicine!”
So true & so vital I feel, when dealing with the awful disease of dementia.

Dee will always be Dee (even if just by name) but my Mum is no longer my Mum.  No matter how hard I try to bring back some piece of her being my Mother, my teacher, my advisor, my confident, my agony Aunt, my supporter, my listener or my companion, it is no longer possible.