I realised today that sometimes the difference in dealing with someone with dementia on your own or whilst having someone else there can be like the difference between falling over in the street on your own or with company. If you’re on your own, it’s embarrassing, stressful, you try to get up & pull yourself together real quick & pretend it’s all okay when it’s not, you’re dying inside. But, if someone else is with you then you have a good laugh, once they have ascertained that you’re not injured, or maybe they actually laugh first like I do).
I realised that when mum is exposed to other people, she does what so many poorly people do, whether mentally or physically poorly, they pull their shit together. Are aware that they need to do their best to behave ‘normally’.
In mum’s case with a mental health condition she pulls into her brain all of her repetitive stories, though no longer correct or always making sense. When it’s just the 2 of us she can relax, doesn’t have to make an effort and instead of trying to access said repetitive stories, she instead I think, tells me what’s in her head. It makes no sense, it’s full of confusion & rubbish. It is so incredibly hard to get into her reality when alone.