A few more

Mum gasped in shock when sitting on a cold plastic toilet seat in a public toilet and said “My Father always insisted on leather, no wool, no wooden seats!”

We were sat in a pub and I was telling mum a story.  I know that when her gaze drifts that she’s even less able to follow what is being said.
Me:  “What are you looking at?”
Mum: “Four young men have just left the pub, it’s a shame we’re not behind them!”
Me:  “I was telling you a story”
Mum:  “I know I’m listening”
Me:  “What was the last thing I said then?”
Mum:  “What are you looking at?”

Mum was struggling to the light the oven.
Me:  “Did it light?”
Mum:  “Thank you!”
Me:  “What did you hear me say?”
Mum:  “You look light!”

An advert came on the TV and mum said:
“I don’t like the name but people won’t forget it!”
Me:  “I didn’t hear it, what was it?”
Mum:  “I can’t remember!”

On the flight to Malta with Ryanair mum was looking at the clothing the male attendant was wearing, she reads EVERYTHING!
Mum:  “He’s got an unusual name!  His shirt says Ryanair just like the name stickers we wear at Singing For The Brain!”

On the same flight a lady was stood waiting to go to the toilet but couldn’t get past the hostess with the trolley.  I said to the lady:
“You’ve been waiting along time”
Lady says: “I can’t get passed”
Mum chokes on her drink and says to me “Did she just call the trolley lady a bastard?”

Doing an exercise with mum where she has to take a deep breath with the intention of it going to her brain so it requires her to rise her arms above her head.  Mum says:  “Why am I taking my arms up above my head when my brain is in my chest?”  I’m pleased to say that this misconception only lasted a day.

Out to lunch with mum & I went to the bar to order our food.  When I returned to the table she was reading the menu.  She’s reads everything everywhere, road signs, notices etc.  She asked me “What are sawduffs?”  Show me I said.  She was reading about ‘Sour doughs.

 

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